


A Rather Pressing Matter

by Soul_in_the_Starlight



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-16
Updated: 2012-10-16
Packaged: 2017-11-16 11:06:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/538766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soul_in_the_Starlight/pseuds/Soul_in_the_Starlight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Moneypenny is incorrigible. The Chief of Staff is susceptible. And M really does see everything...</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Rather Pressing Matter

**Author's Note:**

> Set in the Daniel Craig era of the Bond movies. ~~I know they haven't introduced a Moneypenny yet, but it's high time they did.~~ Well damn, this is now Skyfall compliant... And I guess it kind of qualifies as crack.

The young quartermaster was scintillating company in social situations, and everyone was very fond of him. But his detailed technical briefings about the new hardware, were positively tedious to those who cared little for the science of how it worked.  
  
Why M chose a Friday afternoon for this particular presentation about the new cybernetic tracking devices, for use in the upcoming Siberian mission, was beyond her Chief of Staff.  
  
Bill Tanner secretly loved Q's tech, but from the perspective of how cool it all was, compared to the kind of thing he'd seen and used out in the field. The current quartermaster was highly regarded as a genius by Tanner, but the Keynote presentations on the how and why just made him want to slip into a coma.  
  
As was usual, communication devices were on silent or vibrate; Tanner was a stickler for just good old fashioned manners when someone was speaking. Q's voice was lyrical and engaging, and quite soothing to listen to, so Bill let himself unfocus from what the young man was actually saying, and just enjoy the sound of his voice.  
  
He was gazing off into the middle distance, when he saw his iPad light up in the bottom of his peripheral vision.  
  
As was his wont, Bill always sat behind the agents whenever possible, ready to administer discreet pokes with his pen if they got too restless. This also meant he could surreptitiously check his emails. He looked down at the device in his lap, and saw he had an instant message from Miss Moneypenny:

_Bored._  
  
Bill looked over at her on the other side of the room, and raised his eyebrows with a subtle nod, typing a reply:  
  
 _Not long now. Weekend ahead._  
  
The reply came in fast:  
  
 _Love it when he talks science. Mildly aroused._  
  
Bill's eyes widened as he caught Moneypenny's eye:  
  
 _Naughty girl. Inappropriate response to the presentation._  
  
Moneypenny reached up and undid the neat chignon at the back of her head, shaking her hair loose.  
  
 _Don't care. Just want to throw him on the desk and stop him talking. With my various body parts._  
  
Bill felt himself flush a little, and loosened his top button:  
  
 _Don't think M would endorse such misuse of government assets_.  
  
Moneypenny undid a couple of buttons on her blouse, and made an elaborate fanning motion with her hand.  
  
 _So hot. Glad I'm not wearing undies._  
  
Bill flushed scarlet and made a coughing sound to cover up the squeak the secretary's message had elicited.  
  
"Are you alright, Sir, do you need a window open? You look a bit hot and bothered back there." The change in tone in Q's voice from crisp efficiency to genuine concern startled Tanner. He cleared his throat.  
  
"Err, yes, thank you Q, perhaps that would be a good idea."  
  
"I'll do it!" Moneypenny stood up and clambered past the Q branch staff seated in front of the nearest window. She leaned across and opened it, tugging at the neckline of her blouse.  
  
"Didn't realise how _hot_ it was getting in here Q, until I opened the window." She looked across at Bill with a raised eyebrow and a wicked grin before settling back in her seat.  
  
"Sorry," apologised Q, "I should have asked a bit sooner, but we're almost finished."  
  
He turned back to the presentation, smoothly picking up the thread of his briefing.  Moneypenny picked up her iPad.  
  
 _Lovely breeze out there. Nipples rock hard…_  
  
Tanner swallowed, crossing his legs, trying to discourage the insistent erection that was now threatening to bulge out from the front of his trousers. That girl was _incorrigible_. Through the haze of increased blood flow, he became aware of Q wrapping up the briefing, and people around him standing up to leave. He clutched his iPad to his groin and slowly stood up.  
  
"Tanner, could you have the assigned agents come in to be fitted for tracking implants, first thing on Monday morning."  
  
M was suddenly stood in front of him, blocking his exit from behind the row of chairs. He cleared his throat, eyes wide, clutching the tablet even more firmly to his crotch.  
  
"Yes, of course, Ma'am. I'll, um… I'll arrange it right away.  
  
"What time is that security meeting on Tuesday?" M's eyes narrowed suspiciously at Tanner's sudden and apparent discomfort.  
  
"I… I'm… I don't… I'll need to go and check…"  
  
"Nonsense man, check your calendar, it's right there in your hand." M held out her hand expectantly, and Tanner's stomach sank, as he realised she wanted his iPad.  
  
"Right… yes, of course. Maybe I'll just go and… er… yes, go and catch up with 009…"  
  
He saw the agent exiting the room, and realised he needed to get past his superior.  
  
"Um, If I could just squeeze past, M…"  
  
She sighed and moved slightly to the side, allowing just enough room to pass.  
  
Tanner seized the opportunity, and thrust his iPad into M's hand, intending to bolt past her. Unfortunately, she didn't have her glasses with her, and took a step back, just as he passed her, holding the screen at arm's length, and brushing her backside against his stubborn erection.  
  
He reacted quickly, turning away from her and making it to the door in a few long strides.  
  
"Oh Tanner?" M called, making him freeze to the spot, halfway out of the door. He slowly turned to look at her. She held out his iPad, attempting a straight face.  
  
"I'm glad to see this new mission has you so  _excited_."


End file.
